Had a good session
with my therapist today. We covered some things I am to incorporate
in my life to help me defeat the negative thought pattern that I have
grown so accustomed to doing.
Getting more excited
about the idea and I'm so ready to start this next stage. However a
few things must be done first so unfortunately patience is required
on my part.
Going to the camp
this weekend. Maybe the last weekend We get there this year. Will
have to see. Looking forward to some nature time. I had to put away
the resentment letters for a bit as it was starting to backfire. As I
would think of things more things would pop up and start pissing me
off all over again. So decided ok just breath for a few.
Still having a hard
time of letting Michele go. I only want the best for her. I am
keeping myself occupied with other thoughts as much as possible to
help mend the wound I created.
Knowing you have
issues and knowing how to resolve them are not always so easy. What
works for one doesn't work for the other so it's hit and miss. I have
tried somethings with a little success and something's with major
failures.
I wish I have had a
better grip on this before however it doesn't stop me from getting
one now. It's a slow process but a process it is. Growing is painful
no matter how you look at it. I have been learning to allow the
scared little boy in me heal.
Its always easy to
throw in the towel and not face shit but the alternatives are not any
better. So we have to keep going even when we don't feel like it.
Fortunately for me I have found some direction and am beginning to
see things turn for and within me.
Again its a process
and I have to be patient. Asking the highers to help me gracefully
and gently accept that which is coming ahead and to allow those
things to fall behind that are in the past.
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