Friday, October 7, 2016

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Had a good session with my therapist today. We covered some things I am to incorporate in my life to help me defeat the negative thought pattern that I have grown so accustomed to doing.

Getting more excited about the idea and I'm so ready to start this next stage. However a few things must be done first so unfortunately patience is required on my part.

Going to the camp this weekend. Maybe the last weekend We get there this year. Will have to see. Looking forward to some nature time. I had to put away the resentment letters for a bit as it was starting to backfire. As I would think of things more things would pop up and start pissing me off all over again. So decided ok just breath for a few.

Still having a hard time of letting Michele go. I only want the best for her. I am keeping myself occupied with other thoughts as much as possible to help mend the wound I created.

Knowing you have issues and knowing how to resolve them are not always so easy. What works for one doesn't work for the other so it's hit and miss. I have tried somethings with a little success and something's with major failures.

I wish I have had a better grip on this before however it doesn't stop me from getting one now. It's a slow process but a process it is. Growing is painful no matter how you look at it. I have been learning to allow the scared little boy in me heal.

Its always easy to throw in the towel and not face shit but the alternatives are not any better. So we have to keep going even when we don't feel like it. Fortunately for me I have found some direction and am beginning to see things turn for and within me.


Again its a process and I have to be patient. Asking the highers to help me gracefully and gently accept that which is coming ahead and to allow those things to fall behind that are in the past.  

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