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I have started my third resentment letter. I do admit doing so has got me a bit more agitated do to the fact that I'm thinking of them to write them down and get them out. Knowing this I have done my best to make myself scarce so as not to do anything stupid. I haven't really been posting on FB or being very social. Of course we also have company this week that I didn't expect so that has made it more important for me to be scarce.

I do admit after the first letter I felt a little better however I have a lot of resentment to get out so its going to be a process. Which means I'll feel better and worse at the same time for a while until I get more of a grasp on the resentments.

I also have been thinking about the best way to do a letter for those people I don't know that I have resentments against. You know people like the insurance person who denied your claim. So I'm thinking for those I may just try to do one letter and just get out that which I remember and not really address it to anyone particular but to the world as a whole. This way I hate you all equally :)

The Black Moon is tomorrow night and its a very positive time for big changes. I am doing all this in preparation of those big changes and It doesn't matter what they are. I am just keeping in mind the simple truth its either going to be ok or it aint either way I'm ready and I'll see it all behind me soon enough.

Releasing the resentments is only part one of my healing process. Gratitude is part 2. I suspect when I start on my gratitude letters within the next 2 weeks I will have a calmer peace to me. Or I'll still be the same asshole who hates you all equally lol

I wish to have a moment to thank my therapist for being stronger than my disease and letting me have the moments I need and she is still ready to help and be there. You are very much appreciated Melissa even if I'm to much of an asshole to always show it.

I took an unexpected trip to the camp Monday. Well it was sort of unexpected I found out Sunday I was going. So on Monday it was no longer unexpected. But anyway I had a nice time sitting out by the fire and just relaxing and soaking in the beauty of nature. I so love to be outside. That's why I started smoking again I felt so closed in. I felt that kept me more negative and it was better to smoke and get something positive for me anyway.

I thank the highers for staying with me always and I thank you as well :)