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Letting go can be very difficult at times. The more you love/loved someone the harder it is to let go. Not letting go keeps us from moving forward. So how do we learn to let go. Yep you guessed it Gratitude and time. I know how hard it can to be grateful when your hurt. I am having that issue now. When she told me she would always be there for me no matter what and now she wont even entertain the idea of forgiveness. Makes me wonder how special of a friend I was to her.

I believe in treating others the way you wish to be treated. Unfortunately for us all we do fall short. When one falls short with me I think of my own mistakes and try to give that person the benefit of the doubt. That is the loving thing to do.  Its realizing we all fall short when it comes to relationships.

Letting  go sometimes means changing your focus. No I don't mean try to forget them, you wont! I mean learning to focus on fixing what you need with you. I am working on doing that. Its not easy and honestly sometimes I just wish to be lazy and not bother. Its easier to dwell in the pain sometimes. This can be a dangerous time. We must make ourselves do that which we don't feel like doing.

Letting go of a hope and dream and learning to say goodbye have been difficult for me with Michele. I had a friend over last night and when the messenger app went off on her phone I about freaked out. I had to uninstall messenger from my phone because Michele was the only one I actually talked with. So when that relationship ended I had no more use for it. But I heard that sound and almost checked my phone hoping to find a message. Thankfully my friends are understanding and she turned of the notifications for it so I could handle better. Thanks Karen :) Well brad turned them off but hey you get the point here lol

Having others to help does make things a bit easier but not a whole lot. Distractions only last so long then the memories of your pain creep back in. We just have to keep focused on our goal of getting better. Its one of the main reasons I started this blog to help me remember my goal. To be a better me.

Sharing this hopefully will help someone else. After all is that not what we should be doing helping others even in the midst of our own pain. When we do we are living in love and not fear. Love is a choice. One we must make. If we don't live in love then we choose to live in fear. 

The transition is not an easy road and there will be times you get off. Just remember you can get back on its your choice. I am doing all I can to keep myself on the road but do know that I will run off of it again if I loose my focus. So I write here to help me keep that. 

Many of my old bad habits wish to die hard. They do not wish to leave and I have trouble letting them go. I just have to be patient as I do understand its a process and an opportunity for me to become the me I desire to be. Still would be nice to take a pill and have it all fixed but then we would loose so much of ourselves by doing so. I'm really just getting that through my thick skull. I have to wait for the metamorphosis to happen. I'm still in my cocoon and things are happening. Just in their time and not my time. Which is the way it should be. That will ensure that they stick. I mean if a caterpillar comes out before it turns to a butterfly it will die. So keep the cocoon in tact until your metamorphosis is completed. Allow yourself the experience and rejoice in the opportunity for it.