5

Sometimes no matter how bad you want things to change you just have to go through the painful process of waiting. Yesterday was a waiting day and I ended up not handling it as well as I would have liked. I get very lonely and sometimes my own company isn't enough. I desire things that seem just out of my reach. I know I know negative thinking and your right it is. I'm not healed yet and still have those moments. Now I recognize them and can deal with it more appropriately. 

Its not always easy being me :p and sometimes the emotions still get the better of me but I am learning to get beyond that. So someone called the police on me because I got a bit to loud and cussed a bit. Cops told me well with the kids out I'm like yes I know and I apologize. But what really burns my gears is that I was not talking to anyone and wasn't bothering anyone. I have heard several of these other guys around here do the same thing but to their kids and the law got called on me? WTF 

Taking the day to realign my mind helped me. I am again moving in the direction I need for me. Spent the week getting the yard spruced up and still have a ton to do. I love it though it keeps me busy and I get to be in a place I love the outdoors.