10

I spent last week at the camp. A much needed break. I really allowed myself to get back in touch with my spiritual and natural side. It was nice going back to the basics. Well almost basics I mean we do have and RV wifi and other gagetry :)

We came back home Friday and Saturday morning when I woke up I was drowned in negativity. I didn't understand what was going on. I had a wonderful positive week and things were really looking up. I ended back at the camp Saturday night and it was windy very very windy. I sat out and had a few and enjoyed it anyways lol. I came back home Sunday and we did some more yard work. The place is starting to look nice :)

The break was a good one. It gave me a chance to get some clarity on things in my life and what direction I need to go in those things. Please understand when I say those things I am not talking material things or people. I'm talking about my own emotions and thoughts. Again I'm on a journey to change my thought process from fear to love. The two driving thoughts behind everything we do. I am working on switching the thoughts and its been a job figuring out how.

I am grateful for every opportunity that is presented to me now rather good or bad. I understand that they are guiding me to be that person I desire to be and not the person I am. I fail a lot but that only means I am making the effort. As long as there is movement I can go forward.

I had a very upsetting fathers day. I had a talk with my dad and well it was to say the least very disappointing. My dad is just becoming bitter and angry almost like my mom. Not near as bad mind you no one is as bad as my mom but just seeing it in him disgust me not because of him but because of me. I got a small glimpse of the monster I am when I live in that bitter anger. I've never hated me more.

It would be easy for me to give up at this point and go well look at them I came from them so fuck it there is no hope. But I am choosing not to do that this time. Instead I am going to say fuck you to fuck it. I am not them.

Some interesting things have happened over the last few months and I am feeling very optimistic about me. I continue with this journey and hope you will continue to follow :)

9

To many times we wish to blame others for our choices. Just recently I read an article about a Pastor who stated All Gays should be killed by Christmas day. I thought to myself what an idiot and bigot. This man has been taught this fear based thinking however, by his parents, teachers, preachers and peers. He firmly believes that its the right thing to do. Which is why its so sad. Jesus taught tolerance and forgiveness. Jesus tried to teach us how to live in love but, as we do, we killed him because we didn't want to let go of our fear. 

Fear creates the selfishness that keeps us focused on the me. I know cause I fucking do it. Yes I admit it and am slowly accepting it. Everyone on of us is capable of it and many of us do it. We allowed the fear thinking we have to dictate to us our lives and the out come of that life. We built our society on this fear based thinking. Now people instead of educating their children to think for themselves are teaching the children we don't have to do anything for ourselves others will do it for us because we are entitled. We created a welfare system that is a hand out instead of a hand up. We breed hatred among ourselves. We are separated into little groups of me. My wants, My desires and My way.

We focus so much on want We want that we forgotten to focus on what we have. We have so many gifts to share with each other and instead we keep them to ourselves fearing we may not get what we deserve. Why do we deserve anything? I ask because deserving is fear based thinking. The only thing we deserve is to live the life that we have been given and to share our experiences with others. We deserve nothing else. We are entitled to nothing else. We not only owe it to ourselves to think for ourselves we owe it to everyone.

We give people food instead of teaching them to get for themselves. We keep this fear based thinking going by allowing them to not have to face the fears of their thinking. We all feel bad for those who are hungry but how much of that is their choice. We don't teach responsibility anymore. We shy away from making people responsible unless we arrest them for some crime. Other than that we accommodate their irresponsibility. 

In facing the truth of my thoughts and understanding they are all built on fear is giving me the opportunity to start looking at the forest instead of the tree's. Something we do all to often. I'm still at a point where I focus on the tree's but I am learning to expand that focus. Learning means educating myself. It means challenging that which I have been taught to think and realigning it with how I choose to think. Not and easy process when your still trying to hold on. 

Its a daily, hourly, minutely and secondly choice. I allow myself to forget that so that I can maintain my hold to my fear. Why because I've lived it for so long its where I am most comfortable. I am choosing to become more and more uncomfortable each day. I have to keep the fight going even when I feel alone and think its just not worth it.

I'm on a journey. My destination is unimportant what is important is that I stay on the journey. I often want to get off the path and throw in the towel because that has always been the easiest route for me to take. I have to read my own words almost daily to keep my focus and when I don't I start going to my old attitude of fear. 

I have allowed myself to be a negative person most of my life. In trying to focus on the positive I find that there is even more negative in me that I truly realized. The amount of fear that I have based my entire life on is so great it is baffling me. As this negativity is taking its sweet time in coming out I'm finding that I am feeling better. Truly better. I am beginning to let go of those things that hold me back I just have to start training myself not to reach back for them. I will get there and yes its going to be a process. 

I know that God is with me and helping me and even shaking his head sometimes but its ok because we both know I can and will do this. I will be the man I am setting myself to be. I thank God for the tools to do so and for the wisdom to use them. 

Its nice that when you start getting real and honest with yourself. You can then become who you desire to be by eliminating those fear based things that are truly holding you back. 

8

Still going through the emotional roller coaster. My laptop screen shattered on me the other day when my mouse wouldn't work and I closed the lid to shut it down like I have a few times before but something was on the laptop that I did not see and when I shut it on it it shattered the screen. Fortunately I still have the TV that I use as a monitor but I cant believe that crap happened. I've been having issues with my trackball and known for sometime I need to replace it. 

I have been getting better at my focus on things and keeping up with what is important. I still have a ways to go but I'm going. It gets easy to slip back into the old and comfortable. I guess it makes us human. We rarely go to the uncomfortable. We allow the fear to keep us in our state. Never is it easy for me to accept when I fucked up. I can admit it easily enough just have a much harder time accepting it. 

Acceptance is key in the journey. It allows us to be completely honest with ourselves. This gives us clear communication between body, mind and soul. We need this communication if we are to start learning to communicate with others. Allowing ourselves to see that the demon in us is well just really us. Accepting that we don't have to live this way is very hard. Understanding that you are who you choose to be requires that acceptance.

Aligning the truth with the desire can get tricky as well. For the most part everyone wants the same things. We all want love and happiness. How that happiness comes is as different as the stars. Problem comes that when we get a “want” we are already thinking in fear. Which will just chain us to the thinking we are trying to replace. 

Reaching for gratitude when your not very grateful is a stretch. We all wish to feel grateful for those things we have but I know for me I allow my fear to over shadow my gratitude. As long as I'm in fear I cannot be truly grateful. Desiring to be a grateful person means accepting the truth that your not. We never desire what we already have. Only that which we do not. 

Now does that mean if you desire to be a “good” person your not. No. What it does mean is that the definition of good is not being met by your standard. Which is usually the soul telling you how you should be and the mind is not aligned with the translation. We have the qualities and we do display them in many ways. We allow the fear we have to keep us from getting all the signals that the soul is sending. Fear tells me I'm not good enough because the soul is telling me we should be more accepting. When we accept then we can let go. When we let go we are then able to move.

I'm still accepting things and yeah its slow but I understand that its putting me in the direction I should be in. Do I still want to hold on of course I do that is my fear of not having trying to keep me chained in the negative thinking its bonded me in for so many years. Breaking the chains is tough work. It takes discipline. I lack patience which is a big part of being disciplined. Of course at least that is what I led myself to believe. I do have patience when I want to. I just need to train myself into realizing that. 

Fear is created by want. Want leads to more. More leads to fear. Vicious cycle isn't it? It can be broke, one only has to have the will. I have it and I'm applying it. Still I do have all the ingredients I need to become the man I desire to be. And we all do if we believe it. I'm a great cook I just have to realize what I have and not forget about some important ingredient. Being conscience and making those decisions means being real with me. 

Focusing on a new and improved me is a fear thing. I don't focus. I am just being. Until we see the truth of our thoughts can't change them. I have 40+ years of fearful living to change and the thoughts that have kept me there. I know I will accomplish my goal. I do not doubt. 

7

Past couple of days have been a bit rough. First I go to pick up my daughter to have some dad time and the truck broke down. We ended up having to tow it home and spent the next couple of days working on it and still its not running. Sad part is I had no warning It was running great and now it wont turn over. It cranks just wont turn over. So thats been a bit frustrating. I also started talking to someone who within less than four days of knowing each other ask me to send her money. I'm like fuck you go away. Told me she needed it because she had no food for her son. Bullshit to many places around that wont let a child starve so she could have gotten local help. Besides told me she lived with an uncle. 

Can't see anyone letting a kid go hungry especially when they are family but it is what it is. I just get tired of these girls who say they are looking for their soul mate but don't even get to know you before they are asking for a hand out. Why do so many people play these games. Prey on the lonely. May you get what you deserve bitch.

I did have a great time with my daughter and am looking so forward to her next visit :) We had a really good talk and we both opened up to each other and there is no better feeling in the world than your child trusting in you. We are both growing up and its nice :)

I'm still having a struggle dealing with the loss of Michele. I still very much love her and very much want her back in my life. But I'm doing my best to not focus on that and to change my perspective to my kids and my own life.

I still get very negative when it comes to my life though and sometimes I'm just ready to throw in the towel and say fuck this place and leave the planet for good and never come back. I know this is still fear based thinking and I have to find my way through it. Just wish it wasn't so hard for me. I grew up with nothing. I was placed in foster homes and boys homes most of my adolescent life I spent maybe 8 total years with family the rest in homes. I still have trouble letting things go. I want to just don't seem to be able to. 

I'm still working on being the me I wish to be. A person who lives in love and not fear. Just so many years of fearful thinking has left me well, fearful. I don't want to be that way anymore just seems it doesn't want me to go away from it. Anyway every day is a struggle but I'm grateful for every moment. I know I have what it takes to get through all this just don't always wish to be willing to. Still I have so much to be grateful for and I don't want anyone to think I'm unappreciative to them as I did Michele at the end. I know that things will get better for me and that I'm still in mourning over my loss. I just want to be a good dad a loving husband and enjoy my remaining time with a true soul mate.

6

Letting go can be very difficult at times. The more you love/loved someone the harder it is to let go. Not letting go keeps us from moving forward. So how do we learn to let go. Yep you guessed it Gratitude and time. I know how hard it can to be grateful when your hurt. I am having that issue now. When she told me she would always be there for me no matter what and now she wont even entertain the idea of forgiveness. Makes me wonder how special of a friend I was to her.

I believe in treating others the way you wish to be treated. Unfortunately for us all we do fall short. When one falls short with me I think of my own mistakes and try to give that person the benefit of the doubt. That is the loving thing to do.  Its realizing we all fall short when it comes to relationships.

Letting  go sometimes means changing your focus. No I don't mean try to forget them, you wont! I mean learning to focus on fixing what you need with you. I am working on doing that. Its not easy and honestly sometimes I just wish to be lazy and not bother. Its easier to dwell in the pain sometimes. This can be a dangerous time. We must make ourselves do that which we don't feel like doing.

Letting go of a hope and dream and learning to say goodbye have been difficult for me with Michele. I had a friend over last night and when the messenger app went off on her phone I about freaked out. I had to uninstall messenger from my phone because Michele was the only one I actually talked with. So when that relationship ended I had no more use for it. But I heard that sound and almost checked my phone hoping to find a message. Thankfully my friends are understanding and she turned of the notifications for it so I could handle better. Thanks Karen :) Well brad turned them off but hey you get the point here lol

Having others to help does make things a bit easier but not a whole lot. Distractions only last so long then the memories of your pain creep back in. We just have to keep focused on our goal of getting better. Its one of the main reasons I started this blog to help me remember my goal. To be a better me.

Sharing this hopefully will help someone else. After all is that not what we should be doing helping others even in the midst of our own pain. When we do we are living in love and not fear. Love is a choice. One we must make. If we don't live in love then we choose to live in fear. 

The transition is not an easy road and there will be times you get off. Just remember you can get back on its your choice. I am doing all I can to keep myself on the road but do know that I will run off of it again if I loose my focus. So I write here to help me keep that. 

Many of my old bad habits wish to die hard. They do not wish to leave and I have trouble letting them go. I just have to be patient as I do understand its a process and an opportunity for me to become the me I desire to be. Still would be nice to take a pill and have it all fixed but then we would loose so much of ourselves by doing so. I'm really just getting that through my thick skull. I have to wait for the metamorphosis to happen. I'm still in my cocoon and things are happening. Just in their time and not my time. Which is the way it should be. That will ensure that they stick. I mean if a caterpillar comes out before it turns to a butterfly it will die. So keep the cocoon in tact until your metamorphosis is completed. Allow yourself the experience and rejoice in the opportunity for it.

5

Sometimes no matter how bad you want things to change you just have to go through the painful process of waiting. Yesterday was a waiting day and I ended up not handling it as well as I would have liked. I get very lonely and sometimes my own company isn't enough. I desire things that seem just out of my reach. I know I know negative thinking and your right it is. I'm not healed yet and still have those moments. Now I recognize them and can deal with it more appropriately. 

Its not always easy being me :p and sometimes the emotions still get the better of me but I am learning to get beyond that. So someone called the police on me because I got a bit to loud and cussed a bit. Cops told me well with the kids out I'm like yes I know and I apologize. But what really burns my gears is that I was not talking to anyone and wasn't bothering anyone. I have heard several of these other guys around here do the same thing but to their kids and the law got called on me? WTF 

Taking the day to realign my mind helped me. I am again moving in the direction I need for me. Spent the week getting the yard spruced up and still have a ton to do. I love it though it keeps me busy and I get to be in a place I love the outdoors. 

4

Letting others choices define me left me with a definition of myself I did not like. That is exactly what happened with Michele and I. She made a choice in October and I allowed that choice to define me and who I was to become. The choice only helped reinforce my fear of losing her. So I held on to the fear and eventually got what I feared. I wish I could go back and do it right and I wish I could have my friend back but I have to be thankful for what I had and have with her and do my best to move forward. 

Its tough losing the only intimate relationship you have had in a long time. Mind you when I say intimate I do not mean sexual. Intimacy is so much more than a mere sexual experience. Intimacy is Laughing, Crying, Loving and talking to each other about anything. To many times we take things for granted. To many times we think we know something only to be proven not correct. 

Choosing to change your path is the first step in changing it. Be careful not to keep a hold on fear. Ask yourself consistently what is the underlying feeling here is it love or fear. If its fear change it to love. The process for this is as different as we are. For me its writing. I love to write out my thoughts and feelings. I love to share them with those who want to share in them. For you? ask yourself. You know  your best form of communication. So do it. If your similar to me and like to share your stuff then please invite me to share with you :) 

Making the conscience choice to be someone other than you have been is effort. I know not a very popular word in a world where we expect to take a pill and all the pain be gone instantly. As I have said before its a process and process take time. We need to be grateful for the opportunity to show us how we are aligning with who we desire to be. Grateful though does not always mean happy. Gratefulness will lead you to happiness but it doesn't mean your happy now. Again its a process.

When we try to rush things we deny ourselves the opportunities to examine, or measure, if you will our progress. When we take our time and appreciate the lessons we are remembering we can create better experiences. After all that is what we want right? Having a better life with better experiences. My process will not be the same as yours and that's perfectly ok. We each move at our own pace and we each learn differently. Rejoice in that. Its those things that make us unique. 

Keeping myself going in this new direction is a difficult task. I have had so many bad habits for so long that they have been ingrained. Now I have to un ingrain them :) This is one of those area's where Michele was good at helping me with. I just wish I would have figured it out sooner. But I figured it out now and am being the me I wish to be. 

I still have a ways to go and everyday I get closer. I'm no longer worried about a destination just enjoying the journey. And while some of the falling rocks are not so fun to run into I know they are helping me define the me I wish to be. I didn't want to see it that way but I realized looking at it any way other than the truth is only lying to myself and keeping me in fear.

Yes I still have a lot of fear. I have major insecurities and lots of doubt. All fear based feelings. I still miss the interaction but am continuing to move with out it. I  may look alone but I know I'm not. I still have me and well I actually like me so guess I'm in good company. Yes I still want my intimate relationship but I'm going to be my best and not fear. It hasn't been easy and I have a ways to go but I'm not planning on giving up or throwing in the towel like I have so many times before. I'm to old to go back and to smart not to keep forward. 

3

Removing negative things out of my life was not the only thing I had to do. I had to start learning to be grateful not just say I'm grateful but actually be grateful. Not an easy process when your suffering from loss. Focusing on what you have is a start. I had to take a look around me and realize what I do have. Now I am learning to be very grateful for it and for all the opportunities that are ready to approach me now. I'm starting to be whom I desire to be just not doing. First be then the doing will follow.

Not every moment is a bed of roses and I still have tons of fear to replace. However I constantly keep in mind that my new habits must replace the old ones. I'm no longer worried about what others are going to do or how they are going to respond. I am not here to offend anyone however I'm not going to step on egg shells to avoid doing so.

I now awaken everyday and remind myself how lucky I am and how grateful I am for all that is around me. The people in my life the animals, grass and trees. Some days I fail to do this and those days usually don't go so well. I'm enjoying the process though. I know I am going to be him I desire to be as a result of my journey in this stage. I no longer focus on my doubts driven by fear but focus on my gratitude for what I have and for what I have lost.

I feel the change of thought and emotion happening and I am continually communicating with myself and the father on keeping me this way ;) Not prayer as that's one of the most misunderstood things we do in this life. We pray wrong they don't get answered and we bitch that God doesn't answer prayers. Most typical prayers are not prayers but demands and request. A prayer is simply giving thanks to the father. That's it. Its not meant to be a session where you break out the quarters and wait for him to vend. God already knows what you want. He doesn't need you to tell him and guess what he wants it for you. But because we so live in fear we prevent him from giving them to us then blame him for not vending.

We lack faith not just in the father but in ourselves. You have heard it said many times you cannot love another if you don't love yourself. And that is so true. How can you give to someone something you don't have? Faith is the same way we must have faith in ourselves before we can have faith in another. So we doubt and the root of doubt is fear.

In order to replace the fear from our lives we must find out where are we living in fear at? Unfortunately for my best friend I lived in total fear that I would lose her. I say unfortunately for her because I in fear and anger said things I can never take back. I however don't dwell on that. I choose to remember what she means to me and what she help remind me of about me. While I'll always regret hurting her, I am very grateful for the situation. Had it not happened then would I have still changed my fear based life? My regret is not the situation only that she was hurt. Yes I still have a lot of love in my heart for her and Its not going to go away. I can accept that and be grateful to have that feeling for such a special person. Because now I understand that others choices don't define me. Something that has taken a life time for me to grasp. I'm so thankful I am.

In order to truly change your life you must change the root thought of your thoughts. Chose to live in love and not fear. Chose it everyday every second. Decide to be grateful for every opportunity you have that show you who you are. But most importantly be what you want to be? Don't try to do it just be it the doing will come naturally. Remember the bike just look where you want to be and that is where you will go

2

Deciding to be different is a personal decision that you must make and make alone. No one can do it for you. I've spent most of my life living in a path of destruction and its cost me everything more than once. So why did I continue the cycle. My choice. I just didn't realize that is what I was doing until I stopped doing it. Now I'm making a new choice. Yes its that easy and simple. Its opening the line of communication with yourself and with the Father. Its listening when he speaks and speaking when he listens. But its not just mere words. Words are the worst form of communication in fact most of us simply converse instead of communicate. All forms of writing are simply that just conversation to someone. There is no real communication as you don't have all the ingredients there for proper communication. You cannot see the truth in a persons tones or emotions by looking at a screen or a piece of paper. These are things you must see and feel to complete the communication experience. Most of us compensate by adding our own emotions of what we think the others mean by it.

They once asked a man what did he mean by you can count me out in. He told them it was based on the situation. What he was really saying is that yes I may desire to be a certain way but sometimes to become that way we must first be another way. I can see that in my own life now as I am striving to live with love instead of fear. I feared so much that I would lose someone I so much love that it came to pass. Why? because I unfortunately forgot a very simple lesson that was recently reminded to me as I was helping a young girl learn to ride her bike. She kept looking at her feet and not where she wanted to go. When I explained to her all she has to do is look where she wants to go and the body will follow she got it and started riding with out any assistance from then on in. I sat down on the couch after telling her that and it hit me like a ton of bricks on a jackknifed truck. I was so focused on Losing my best friend I did. I focused and lived in fear instead of love. My only hope is one day she see's that she truly helped change me and know that I very much grateful for having her in my life.

Denying ourselves opportunities based on fear only serves to deter us from a more fruitful and meaningful life. Realizing we don't have to live that way is a great freedom. However we still have to make the choice and its a daily, hourly and secondly choice. We must be conscience of who we desire to be and be it.

Start by getting somewhere alone and just really take a look at who you are and how that aligns with who you want to be. We must be willing to look beyond material wants and needs and get down to the root of who you are and how you are living. I was destructive and living in fear. I had to be honest with myself about that and ask myself why? I had to ask myself is this the person I desire to be? Then why am I being them? Real questions that required more than a mere look but an honest intent look. I talked to the father asked him why my life sucked so much and why did I just lose one of the greatest people to ever enter my life. His answer was well just really fucking hard to swallow. He told me it was what I chose to experience. Of course I wanted to say fuck you that is not want I wanted in fact I begged for the opposite. But I had to take an honest look at the answer. Then I had to realize that it was truth. Painful but truth. Because I had chosen to live a self destructive life I destroyed all around me. It was just the natural consequence of my choice and not punishment. I had to focus not on the result but the entire journey of our friendship. What she had taught me about me and who I desire to be. Along with accepting and understanding this truth I knew I had to remove some things out of my life as they were not representing who I desire to be. I still enjoy a lot of these things however they are no longer the sole focus of my life nor do they tell the complete story of who I am.

After all that is what my life is about right writing my story and sharing it with others. Learning and growing from others. Experiencing Life instead of fear. Deciding who I desire to be and changing my mind when I need to. Making the choices that best affect me and who I am and who I'm being. Everything is a process and we live in a want it now world. We've gotten in a hurry to reach the end. Why? The results are not significant only the journey.

When ever we believe what someone else says we short ourselves an opportunity to grow into a teacher. We must be willing to look beyond the pre-built walls that we have grown into and remove them. Its not easy letting go of that which you have been taught to hold so dear but not letting it go keeps you from grasping it. 

Entry Number 1

Often times we sit and ponder what is the meaning of life? We ask ourselves questions such as Why does these things always seem to happen  to me? or something like, When will my life get better? Often we create our own demise by worrying, living in fear. We base everything on our lives by what others tell us, teach us and even force us to do. We live in a world ruled by an idea of God who tells you from the get go your not good enough. Your a born sinner. You are separated from God because of this sin. No wonder we live our lives in such fear. We either agree with this so called thruth or they tell us we will burn in hell. But we have freewill! Just not so much as you can see it just sort of on paper so it looks good you know ;)

We are taught from a very young age that we need money to live. We are taught that you have to work hard and be loyal to the money giver. They decided what we should believe and not believe they created a world of control because they think they are entitled and for the most part they have gotten away with it. We do everything to win its just a big competition. He who dies with the most toys wins right? Why? Who says? The fucking idiot with his toys? We have over populated and raped our dear mother so much that the destruction on which the idiot system was designed is going to fruition.

We have divided ourselves so much to such degree's that we have forgotten our own humanity. We are supposed to be here sharing the world with each other and with the other occupants of the world. The American Indians understood this concept. They were very grateful for the land and praised the spirits for the opportunities given to them. They were very in tune with the earth. They understood her. Then we came and totally wiped that out. Called it paganism and devil worship. Forced our Church on them and destroyed them when they were disobedient to our law on their land.

Often finding yourself means losing yourself. Its in those moments that the definition of who you are come out and sometimes that aligns with who we want to be and sometimes it does not. When it does not is where problems exist. We have lost so much in our short existence. And why well believe it or not because of our choice. We have chosen to believe the leaders of our world, society or tribes. We accept without question and are told we are being ridiculous if we question them. They force their rules and regulations on us. They set up a system that leads us all to the slaughter house and we blindly follow in the name of their GOD.

So how do we prevent the slaughter? Can we? Do we want to? Are we willing to be different? All questions that need answers but only you know the answer for you. We have become so distraught that we have divided even ourselves. No longer do Body, Mind and Spirit work together. All want something different and it keeps us trapped in the fear systems created by our forefathers and maintained and corrupted by our current leaders.

The only way to change is to be different. Not follow the bullshit they have laid before you and called it pie. Making you spend your life chasing it. Training us very much like we train dogs. But before we can show others a better more loving way we have to align our own selves up first. This is a process and processes take time. In order to follow withing the process one must be open and honest. One must be willing to be and just not do. We have to learn to communicate with ourselves before we can communicate with the outside world. A very costly lesson to me at a very major expense. I lost my best friend learning that lesson.

Learning to communicate with ourselves means understanding what communication is. Its not just mere words that we speak to each other. Its emotions, thoughts, energy and intimacy. We haft to decide who do we want to be? A real honest decision not a I want to be a millionaire question but How do I wish to be remembered? When people see me what is their feelings of me? Not what I have. We have spent our lives worrying about what we have. But who are we? No I mean WHO ARE WE REALLY?

 We all have empathy. We all get concerned when a natural disaster happens and destroys homes and people. We all wish to be helpful to them in some way. All the while allowing our fear of not having keeping us from actually doing what we should be doing. So we do a minimal and feel good about ourselves. There is more being destroyed than just humans and buildings. The wildlife that also has been left for dead or homeless. The trees destroyed. The ecosystem severely damaged. Our spirit side is what is telling us we need our true humanity but our mind living in fear prevents us from doing so.

So how do we align Body, Mind and Spirit. and start to understand how to communicate effectively between the three? There is really no one single answer. We all have different experiences and do share in some similar ones. I can only offer suggestions that have helped me in my experiences. You can only choose to accept or not accept. You do have freewill. Live it!! Talk to God no not the idiot the bible would have you believe is God but the real God who shares our experiences with us. The real God who shows us how to be what we wish to be if we are willing to listen. Making a conscience effort to explore the possibility of God (the creator) or The Father if you prefer. Our own spiritual father. He wants us to live in love real love not the kind you read or watch but a true love for each. As we are all one. Spiritually connected on one level or another. Here only to experience what we desire. To truly share with each other. Removing ourselves from the hierarchical hell that has been forced upon us. To understand all life is connected. We can learn to communicate with it all again if we so choose. I know I do. And this is going to be a record of that journey. I hope you all stick with me. Its going to be one hell of a ride :)