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I find that when things happen I am learning to cope with them better than I had before. Take for instance the whole divorce court thing. 6 months or a year ago and I would have completely broke down and thrown in the towel. I would have retreated to that dark negative place I’ve been so comfortable in most of my life.

I am not only becoming more balanced I can now feel it. I give thanks to the highers for this feeling. Without their belief in me and their support of me I would have never gotten this far.

While I may have a ways to go to reach my goal I know that I am well on my way and I can see the changes. The peace that I seek is within my grasp. Something I would have found to be impossible just a few months ago.

I am still very sad and hurt that I was so misunderstood. However I am not going to hold on to that I have to let it go and continue to learn to communicate the thoughts, feelings and ideas I have. Even then I’m sure I’m going to be misunderstood as I am learning that we all have our own understanding and not the right to expect that someone is on the same page as we are just because they are intelligent enough to be so.

I have allowed my experiences to define who I was now I am defining the experiences I want from who I am. I’m still very unsure of what that is though. I’ve been on the planet this go around for the last 47 years and really haven’t experienced life. Something that I am in process of changing.

While the past few weeks have not gone anthing like I would have wanted I can say the way I have dealt with the disappointment has been far more positive than even I thought possible. I may continue to run into walls but I’m learning to walk around them.

The anger is being replaced with compassion and understanding. No I will never understand why certain things happen the way they do but I am learning to trust that they are happening for my betterment.

In my quest of changing those negative core beliefs I am learning to replace those habits that reinforce those beliefs. I take it day by day and minute by minute. I’m learning to focus on me with love and compassion. Every lesson has given me something valuable and I am allowing myself to understand no one has done me wrong. I’ve only managed to survive this long from the strength that I gained from those undesirable experiences. As I see and understand the gifts that each experience has given me I learn to accept my reward and use it for the betterment of me.

I thank you all for the gifts you have given me. While I may not understand the reasons why I can choose to accept it positively or negatively and I am choosing postive.

I leave you with this though that was so eliquently written by Roger Waters:

The Lunatic is on the grass.

Remember its all about perspective ;)