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Last week I learned a bit and had a few surprises. The over all of the week was better than it appeared. While circumstances were not always favorable results were. As I continue on this road of healing I make discovery’s of myself. Good, bad and ugly.

I decided about a year ago to try and get some help with the mental issues I battle. Taking on this battle has led me to acceptance. I still have issues with accepting somethings in life as I’m sure most of us do.

I’m learning to slowly turn the negatives into postive. I’m learning to create the energy I wish to receive. I am preparing myself for the most important Love of my life. Me.

As I continue to heal the engine of anger is slowing down. The anxiety is still very high and I am working on correcting that. I reread a few things yesterday as I was thinking about the week I had and I realized that my anxiety had me miss some valuable information. Had I not been so anxious when I first read some of these things I may have not missed this information.

While things have begun to slowly move the anxiety seems to be trying to climax again on me. The last time that happened it cost more than I truly understood and more than I ever wanted it to.

However at that time I wasn’t in the process of healing I was still in a very self destructive mode. Now I am learning to pay attention so as to not repeat the same mistakes. I plan on making all new ones instead LOL

I am so grateful for the lessons of late that have shown me the next phases of healing I must attain. I know I will have to face some more truths about me and I’m armed with the attitude that what I don’t like I will change. When I built the wall I never intended to be it’s prisoner. I didn’t see how it was consuming the light that was desperatly trying to keep me free.

As I heal and learn to communicate I find myself embracing the compassionate side of me. Becoming more sensitive to the feelings of others allowing myself to put me aside to understand them. That has led to me undestanding me more and that has been helping me evolve into the higher me.

Its not the pain that defines you its how you deal with it. I spent so many years of my life dealing with it in all the wrong ways. I’m still not completely certain of how to deal with some of it however its not my concern but the concern of the highers.

I know as long as I continue to do better I will get better. Processess get ugly at times. Arming myself with the love of the ancients gaining my wisdom through the love of the highers. I march on in confidence.

Wanting better means doing better. Give the energy you wish to get. Life is not a journey to a destination life is a journey to a transformation. The rawness of my character is being chiseld off and the weight is becoming more bearable.

Bad choices can lead us to a stalemate where we think we are content with our lives and the arrangment of boxes we have so neatly stacked things in because its our way of keeping control. Not realizing we have become prisoners to it. Going outside means giving up that control.

We can gather all the information we want to guide us to what our hearts desire however we must get uncomforatable and get rid of the boxes. We must go out to change that which is within. Information without action is just words to forget.