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In life tragic things happen that help us to think of where we are going and why. The past few weeks have not been as good as I would have liked them to be. Someone I knew was killed. I had to spend my holiday without my family. And to top it off I'm still in limbo in a few areas as I have to wait for other things first.

Its been emotional however I feel that I have done a good job of handling it all. While I am sad and hurt I am also very grateful at the same time. I know things could be much worse and I am so glad they are not. I still have the highers here with me encouraging me to continue this difficult road.

I decided a while back I wanted different in my life. That meant I had to do different. I am continually doing just that. I may not be where I desire to be or even have those things I desire to have but I am not where I used to be and that is what matters most.

Still I have impatience yet I am learning how to handle it differently. It was always easy before to just start blaming the world for my misfortunes. Now I am learning to accept my part and not that which belongs to others. Yes I would still like to have everything yesterday but now I realize I have to be ready for them more than I think I am.

I continue to do my part in maturing my mind. I am happy with me and where I am at and the direction I have chosen to go. I am proud of the accomplishments I have recently made however it was not just I but those who supported me as well. We have worked hard and have made real progress. Thank you.

I woke up the other morning feeling very pissy. I am not exactly sure why and don't believe it matters now. For about three hours I was just pissy with the world. Nothing felt right.

While I was in the garage having a smoke the cat came in and started rubbing her head on my leg so I reached down and started petting her. She was in heaven lol. She then proceeded to jump on the couch next to me and crawl up on my lap. The most beautiful part about it was the fact that I had released my pissiness do to the fact that I was sharing love with another animal.

When I recognized this I stopped and thanked the highers for such a wonderful moment and lesson. No matter how one feels just keep sharing love. Ironically the rest of my day was good. Nothing else happened or anything just the appreciation of a selfless moment spent petting a cat.

It was a moment that reminded me to remember when looking in gets to much to bear then its time to start looking out and see results of your growth. To appreciate everything that got you to that moment.

I'm glad I still have the capacity to not only learn new things but to understand them as well. Every moment will bring us growth if we allow it. I've been tore down enough now is my rising from those ashes.

Keep the engine running :) remember always Smile and Think Positive. Thank you for the lessons and I'm so grateful they are coming to me gently, gracefully and lovingly.