19

The past couple of weeks things have really started to turn around for me. As I briefly mentioned earlier I've met someone who I have really connected with. Last Saturday we had our first date. It was beautiful. The weather which had been flirting with 90 degree F temperatures was a cool low 80 degree F day. There was a small breeze and it was just a lovely feel for the day. We walked the trails for a few hours looking at the old tree's giving our appreciation for them and catching all kinds of cool stuff and looking at beautiful spider webs. Some we tried to take pictures of but the light was all wrong and you can't see them :(

The whole day was just amazing and I'm in awe of just how the highers have blessed me with such and Amazing Lady. Especially right after I ripped the heart out of an Amazing Lady. A regret that started the moment I did it. I've been learning to forgive myself of my horrible mistake. While I don't regret the motivation it has given me to remove that monster in me, I do regret I hurt someone in order to do so.

We all have our monster. Some of us are very good at hiding it and keeping it at bay while others of us don't understand what that is. I've made some real serious changes in my thinking. I have decided to listen to the highers and allow them to show me the way. I wanted to fight it at first because who was I to be worthy of knowing the way. I am selfish and hurt people. I can still hear the higher tell me that's because your not embracing the love you wish to share.

I didn't understand. I was like ok how do I embrace something no one is giving me? They were silent. Why because they knew I already know the answer. No need to show me what I already know just allow me to think about what I asked. I said you bastards why yall got to let me be so damn insightful. So I decided maybe its time to listen and stop fighting. I had to let go.

Something that is very difficult for me. But in doing so the reward is just so much more than I could have ever anticipated. I no longer feel like I need to worry about how much more I have to go I just need to go. Enjoy and embrace every moment. Show my gratitude not just say it.

My heart is healing. Its a slow process but when you allow others to help you then you will find its much easier. Not less painful just easier to survive it. I'm letting go of those hurts from my past and while I will never forget them I will learn to embrace them as they are what have guided me to this place I am in now. Ready to not just ask for something but ready to receive it.

My journey is not being walked alone anymore. I have gathered friends to walk with me. And while some of our paths may go different ways. I understand that we can't grow if we don't spread. Popping up is great but if you don't branch out you wont make it. Some have been around and wisely just walked at a distance allowing me to go through what I had to do get my focus again. And while things are still a bit blurry it is clearing up fast. I'm no longer focusing on what I do and don't have I'm focusing in on what I'm sharing with others. How am I sharing my blessings? What is my true calling here? Well the true calling is a simple answer its to share my blessings.

When you are ready you will ask the question and find your answer is the same. We are here to experience and share that blessing with others. We must embrace our real selves so we can embrace others real selves. Walk with your heart in love and let love rule your thinking. Then you will experience joy. Joy must be shared or it can't last.

Let us share our blessings and then we can enjoy our journey. I am grateful to you all. I love you and thank you for joining me on this journey.