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Sorry its been a while since I was last here. Its Spring time and just as mother nature gives us renewal and new birth during this time. I have to have been doing the same. Renewing the skeletons into something beautiful and positive. Experiencing new idea’s and new ways of thinking.

I’ve gone to the camp a couple of times last month. The first time I went by myself and just really allowed the spring energy to help realign me through heart mind body and soul with the universal energies.

I have been sharing a lot over the past almost 2 years now and I’ve progressed a lot in this evolutionary phase. I’ve learned that I can’t take out negative things in me. I have to instead transform that negativity into something positive. Its not always and easy task. How to look horror in the eyes and give others something positive from it? Easy Trust the process.

I thought that if I controlled things in my world I could prevent bad things from happening. So I spent a lot of time pretting up my world. Decorating it with all the things that my heart adores. Allowing very few in while keeping out the masses.

As I look back I see that all I really did was decorate my prison to convince myself that I am happy and safe. My insecurities had me so trapped into this prison that I was blinded to the fact that it is just that a prison.

I limited myself so long I truly don’t know what I like or dislike beyond the walls I have built. As I take down that wall brick by brick. I look to see what positive came from that brick. Yes the situation that created the brick was bad but I survived it. I learned from it. I have even begun to learn to appreciate it. That is what transfomation is all about. Not changing the situation but allowing yourself to see it from a different perspective.

Giving up the illusion of control has brought me the most wonderful gifts I could imagine. First I was able to mend some broken friendships and not put an agenda to the mending as I had before. No this time I had to realize I am not enjoying the journey if I try to control that which I don’t have control over anyways and honestly have no business being in control over.

Facing my insecurites has allowed me to accept that which is and allow that which will be. I have a plan for my future but its an adaptable plan. I’ve realized I cannot predict outcomes no matter how favorable they may seem. I'm learning to adjust and accept the situations as they are.

Again its a process and while it may seem slow at times that is truly the point. You have the time to change it without feeling a consequence. Facing my insecurities has also helped me understand why I do so many other things that I never thought would relate to me being insecure. Things like judgement and ridicule. Though they are not things I actively allow myself to participate in anymore. No it doesn’t mean I am cleaned of judging and ridculing but it does mean that when I see I am doing it I just ask this simple question: What is it in me that is not showing love to others who have to go through their journey their own way.

For me its very hard not to do I mean I have three kids around me. Its an automatic natural thing that society has taught us to do. Because as long as they can keep you down you will fall prey to their own self glory.

Insecurities have kept me in fear a majority of my life. Transforming that fear to love has shown me the situations that made me feel insecure are the very situations that showed me I am a survivor and I only need to believe that I can survive anything even walking away from an abusive relationship.

The universe was supplying me with what I needed but my perspective was wrong and I couldn’t accept the gift of confidence the universe was so desperately trying to give to me. I stayed in a mentally abusive relationships far longer than I should have as a result I only allowed that insecurity to continue to build walls and imprison me to a life of loneliness.

Evolving my perspective has shown me so much good in those bad situations that I refused to see at the time. I can now see the beautiful helpers that the universe has sent me to continue to evolve into my higher self. Some are Angels here on earth others are in the next diminsion embracing and surrounding me with love.

I realize now how they were always there in some form or another encouraging me and loving me. Giving me strength where needed even when I couldnt see it. The universe has always givin me love and independence it was me who turned it into fear and insecurity.

I just didn’t realize my perspective was not in correct alignment with the universe. Evolving into the higher me has been correcting that alignment. I know longer worry about how far I have come or how far I have to go. That is only fear thinking and keeping me into that realm of insecurity. I don’t care how far something away is I am enjoying now for that is all I truly have.

Here is the only place that matters. Where I am now. Yesterday has passed and is only a lesson. Tomorrow is unknown. The gratitude for my highers rather physically here on earth or spiritually continues. I am enjoying the journey even though at times it appears scary I’ve learned to trust in my survival and in the universe who sends me what I need when I need it.

Trusting in something has been hard but the more I do the easier it has become. Now I can feel the energies of those that have surrounded me with love and it has raised my vibrational energy not for me to keep to myself but to share to others in those ways I can. Holding on only leads to fear which blocks us from the love the universe is so desparetly ready to give us.

Live in peace. Stand your ground.