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Its just been gorgeous the last few days and I’m not just talking weather. I have got some more of those spring time activities done and the house is looking nice because of it :)

For the past month or so I have actually been sleeping better. No I am still not consistent but I manage to stay in bed and fall asleep better than before. The anxiety levels have dropped and its been very nice and peaceful.

The way things have managed to change within me just this past year have left me in awe. When I first started this part of the journey I thought it would take me a couple of years to obtain this kind of peace and enlightenment. However that has not been the case at all and infact its been just the oposite. Things I thought not probable have come to past and I’m in a very good place with me right now.

I still have work todo but its not my focus. My focus is on now and what I can work on now and what I need to do now. I feel more aligned not only within myself but with life itself. I’m ridding myself the illusions that have held me back and embracing those things that have progressed me forward. I have gratitude for them both. For in the end I have not only come out better I have come out wiser.

Adjusting our thinking and allowing ourselves to truly listen and do takes discipline. It takes a willingness to rid yourself of those things and move beyond the normal of your life.

For me I had to surrender. It was to much for me on my own and I was making things so much worse. I couldn’t help myself I could only watch in agony. I asked the highers to gracefully and gently help me surrender those things I have been holding on to and to become a person I actually like instead of a maniac whom no one can deal with. The honesty part was a bit painful at first to swallow. Facing those with a clear conscience of your decision. Accepting that letting it go and moving forward. You no longer have to take that with you.

I’m so grateful for the highers and their loyalty to me and my transformation. I’m also grateful that I had the courage to want to make a change and do so. I sought help on those things I was not able to do on my own and I started surrendering those things that I can.

At the start it seemed a bit slow and I was still very ecentric. I didn’t keep a faith or a belief that I could transform I knew I could. It was that knowing myself that kicked up the gears and things have been happening almost to fast at times.

I still get axious over things and while the medications are helping I’m counting more on the meditation rather than the medication. Getting my mind right is after all the goal I am acheiveing.

I had my ex wife pop into my head this morning and for the life of me I couldn’t think of why. After a little bit it hit me that today is our wedding aniversary. Next month I am do to court for the divorce. Yesterday was mothers day and I didn’t bother to contact my mom as I just know that its really not a good idea. And even though it makes me be someone I rather not it so beats being drained by her and her drama.

Lots of new opportunites are appearing everywhere and lots of creative ideas are springing out. I take each new step with the wisdom that it always works out the way it’s supposed to.