137

Sometimes I get reminded of just how important my feelings and thoughts are. Now I will admit my timing isn’t always the best but I do feel I deserve some bit of respect but again maybe I am having an expectation I don’t deserve to have.

I have been kicked ever since I came into this world. I’m not sure of the wrong I have done before that caused me to have such a horrible experience with life. I feel like i’m nothing more than a slave who is at the mercy of others who can never understand the experience's I have lived through.

Not only can they not relate they just really seem to not give a damn either. Its just another reminder to me of how our humanity has been lost. I’m sorry I am not deemed worthy of this life and I am sorry that I even appeared. I’m so so very sorry your world hates me and see no good in me.

I have done so much to change myself however I get treated like i’m lower than life and honestly maybe I am. I really don’t know anymore.

I was off my meds for 5 days and its seems to have taken much longer than the first time to readjust. I am uncertain of anything anymore. While I am so grateful I am also so disapointed that I chose to even experience life. I am just so confused anymore of who or what I am supposed to be to people. I really hate life and I’m sorry if that upsets people but honestly I’m tired of the cruelity.

Please forgive me for wanting to enjoy a life that apparently most people feel I am unworthy of. :(

I thank the highers for being with me though these difficult times and I only pray that they continue to do so.