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I woke up this morning went outside to the garage like I do pretty much every morning. I got to witness the beautiful songs of the birds as they were ushering in the new morning. I sat and thought how blessed am I that I get to witness such amazing beauty.

Just another grateful day :) and while they may not all go according to my plan they do go with my gratitude. My heart is light and filled with joy. I understand the messages from the wise ones who cheerfully share their wisdom with me. I have gained a peace that I have not been able to feel for such a long time. I let anger go.

Anger was not serving me it was destroying me. It was destroying those around me and even destroyed some that mean the world to me. I decided no more could I hold on to this or I would truly loose my last bit of sanity.

It wasn’t easy and it doesn’t mean I never get angry. However now when I get angry I look at why I am angry and deal with it the best I can however it doesn’t last now. Yes I can be angry for a few hours but that’s so much better than the last 40 + years that I carried it.

Since letting go of my anger I have noticed that depression has dropped down as well. I may get depressed but usually for only a few hours not a few weeks. I still have some anxiety issues that I carry and between the medication and the meditation and of course the bong hits ;) I seem to be able to handle it a lot better and even those fits are not lasting as long.

I have other things I want to let go of at the moment but the highers have had me slow it down reminding me that I don’t want quick change I want lasting change. And while things have seemed to go quick to this point in my view I suppose that is the result of letting go of something huge that has been holding me back. I need to take time to process how to live with the changes. I’m doing that and talking to the highers about it all the time.

Just as contentment does not mean satisfaction. Joy doesn’t mean everything is perfect. It’s again just being grateful for those things that you have been exposed to. Its a choice. Its deciding to be happy not do to circumstances but because that’s just how I wish to be. I lived in doom and gloom enough and have let that go to expose myself to better things.

Aligning myself within the positive aspects of life has given me a much better perspective of me and who I am. I am a loving caring person. I am mechanically inclined. I have common since. I am intelligent. I am open and honest. I am a giving person. I have a wonderful since of humor. Not to mention how fucking awesomely good looking I am ;) :D

I used to have trouble seeing myself of being of any value and now I’m so thankful to see the true value of who I am. I am forever grateful to Michele who showed me I had value to begin with.

It is weird sometimes to look and see how different I am today compared to a year ago. It almost seems like another person but I do have a personality disorder so hmmmm lol. No I am me and I couldn’t be happier that I have not only been able to learn some humiliating lessons I have been able to shine from them.

I’m heading off to the camp this weekend. Mel and the kids will be going and Mels boyfriend Ryan should be coming as well. So it will be a house full. But at least there are trails and stuff to keep everyone busy :) I look forward to the mornings when they are all asleep and I can just sit out and enjoy nature and some mighty hits ;)

I continue this journey with joy and contentment. I keep walking the path that I am on with a new found excitement. I stay on it with gratitude.