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These past few weeks especially I have been feeling a lot more sensitive and I find myself taking things a lot more personally. I know part of it is just my disease. The part of taking things extremely personal. The past few days I have not been in a good place mentally.

I have been questioning my self worth and I haven’t been doing to well with it. I know its a core belief that I am working very hard on changing. My problem is that it’s getting the better of me at the moment. The past few days I have not felt very worthy.

Its very hard for me at the moment as I am struggling with not taking things so personally as I know that those people are not meaning any harm to me its just that I’m dealing with sensations I haven’t really felt before and I don’t know what the fuck they are yet.

Its hard because the side of me that is taking things so personally wants to just lash out at everyone. While the more affectionate side is doing everything it can to keep me calm and understanding. Its a dichotomy.

We often take advantage of where we are at with our level of understanding especially when communicating to others. We often forget that they are in a different place than we are. We forgot to change our perspective to understand theirs. I still do that with christians mostly, but do find I expand that to others as well. It goes back to trying to be in control of that which I am not.

I’m realizing that everyone has to grow at their own pace and they have to believe or not believe in whatever gets them to where they need to be. Their journey is not myne. My journey is not theirs. I know how I learn not how they learn.

Someone believes something because for them that is what they need. Christians believe in their version of God because that is what they need. I believe in my version because that is what I need. My chosen experiences are not based on their belief’s but my own as their experiences are not based on myne.

As we awaken we see things in ways that can’t easily be explained to those who are still asleep. Learning how to not only learn this new perspective that is opening to us but to also allow ourselves to understand someone elses perceptive and understand that both are right.

For you at your experience level your perspective is right for you but not necessarily right for me and vice versa. Allowing ourselves to see both sides of the coin is not instinctively natural. We each have a world of expectations to prove this.

If we are to truly grow we must let go of the expectations we have. We must learn how others learn so we can teach them in a way they will understand and appreciate. In doing so we can then really start to break the chains we have bound to ourselves.

We must remember everyone learns differently and we all have our own understanding of things. When we disagree with someones perspective we should approach them about it in a way that allows them to feel they are teaching us. Until we are able to put aside our limited views we cannot allow ourselves to be open to the others veiws.

Having those who’s perspectives we don't understand feel like they are teaching us doesn’t leave them with a feeling of belittlement. After all love does not leave one feeling worse. I’m choosing to live in love as I understand it however I am doing what I can to expand that understanding. I again thank the highers for encouraging me to grow.