Thursday, January 7, 2016

38





This year has been a decent year. No nothing has really been different as far as it goes however my attitude is very much different. My gratitude's and my positive affirmations have helped me to stay positive. That doesn't mean I still don't have my moments but I see them blowing over a bit faster now :)

I spent my whole life trying to please everyone but me. I can no longer carry out a life where I do that. When you have the rejection I have had its very hard not to want to make everyone happy. The rejected part of me says If I can make them happy with me then they will want me. Now I realize that If I want to be happy I have to choose to be that way. I can no longer allow others to have that control over me.

One of the things I am most grateful for is that Michele still bothers to keep in touch with me even though it may not be as often as I wish. As much as I love her and as much as I am willing to do for her I had to realize that I cannot give her anything if I am not being true to me. I have to be the center of my happiness and not her. She is not responsible for my happiness I am. 

In this light I am figuring out what that is. I honestly don't know what makes me happy. I'm at a new crossroads in life and direction has never been my strong point. Now I am starting to realize direction was never my problem only my attitude. 

I'm doing what I feel I must to find the peace within myself to continue moving in this positive direction. I have decent support when I accept it and I am learning to accept it more and more. I am also learning to accept that I am not as alone as I have seen myself being. 

I am going to have a great life. I am going to accept that great life. I am going to share my great life and I am going to enjoy my great life. I am going back to the old motto of KISS. Keep it simple stupid. LOL 

I look forward to the new opportunities that life is about to bestow upon me. What they are I do not know all I do know is that my attitude for them will be positive. Me wanting me is the best gift I can give to me. I am living my life for that now. 

No comments:

Post a Comment